“A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!”

6 Aug

According to Sarah Jessica Parker.

And I think she is right.  Side note, I think I’m being stalked by small animals rodents.

A few days ago it was a mouse and today it was a squirrel.

squirrel

Have I messed with mother nature somehow, like Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch?!  I never actually saw that movie but I heard the animals turned on him for not growing up or something.

Here is what happened in my version of Failure to Launch:

I came home from work and there he was, the little stinker, sitting on the stairs outside my apartment, preventing me from ascending them.  He was just staring at me.  It felt like he was taunting me by refusing to leave.

I was like “Come, here little squirrel. Come on down. Come here.”  but I didn’t want to get too close in case it was a crazy squirrel that wanted to bite me.  And then I went around the corner to get a little farther away from him, hoping he would leave, and instead of going away, he came down the steps a little bit and turned to make eye contact with me. No joke.

So instead of doing anything purposeful, I just stared, waiting for him to leave like a dumbass, holding my mail, my heels (in case it wanted to give chase and I had to run), my coffee mug and with a big purse over my shoulder.

And this is how I met my new neighbor.  Truly I couldn’t have planned a more stereotypical Cameron Diaz movie scene than this, and yet it happened in my reality (no offense Cameron- love you!).

My neighbor, who I discovered is named Collin (I think, if my memory serves me correctly), came out to walk the two dogs that he is pet-sitting and found me looking a fool.  We talked a bit and at least by the time he left, the little bugger also decided to exit.

I’m not sure if I hate or love this squirrel.  I’ll leave it up to the peanut gallery (no pun intended. Seriously, though, really no pun. Like, I’m not saying no “pun intended” to sound cute or clever, I really mean no pun was intended) you.

Enjoy your Thursday night, for those of you who are either unemployed or don’t have to work tomorrow.  I’m jealous of you.

xxo

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