I always thought that as time passed sad feelings would fade. At least that’s what everyone says to you when someone close to you dies. And it is true to an extent… I can go months without crying now. But I don’t know if the hovering cloud, a reminder that you aren’t whole, ever goes away. It’s been 4 & 1/2 years and 3 days and that cloud is still there. Some days it’s thinner than others but every once in awhile it comes out in full force and covers the sun. No matter how good things are, how smoothly life is going, the cloud will continue to come out as long as you can’t share the good things with the one person who is missing.
One of my friends’ had someone close to them die recently so maybe that’s pulling me back, or it might just be hormones. Either way, this post isn’t supposed to be a depressing one, nor a call for help. It’s just a reflection on loving and losing who is most important to you.